How a New Widow and Her Dog Embraced Downsizing

Penny Alderson had heard the long-standing advice: When a spouse dies, take a year before making any big moves. While that may be good counsel for many widows and widowers, not everyone has to deal with a dog like HamBo.

The three-year-old, 84-pound English Bulldog is a major reason why within eight months of losing her beloved husband of 48 years, Penny cleared out and sold her three-story home in Lincoln, Nebraska, where she and her husband had lived for 35 years and raised their two children, and downsized to a home one-fifth the size three states away.

How she did it is a morality tale featuring the power of love, family and pets.

“At first, I didn’t know what I was going to do,” Penny told me about the weeks immediately after she lost her husband to cancer, “but I knew this much: I wasn’t going to stay.”

HamBo was a big factor.

“My husband was a computer programmer who worked out of our basement,” Penny said. “HamBo was always with him. After he died, the dog would run downstairs to the office every day looking for him.”

The daily routine was breaking her already broken heart. So, Penny, age 72, called the real estate agent who originally sold her and her husband the home. The agent wanted Penny to make a bunch of home improvements before listing the house. “Although we had done some updating over the years,” Penny said, “we’d let a lot slide. The changes we did make the agent didn’t like. I felt like the agent wanted me to spend a lot of money with no guarantee that a prospective buyer would like what I picked out.”

For most people, let alone a grieving widow, such a task feels like swimming through mud wearing shackles. Enter Ben Souchek, owner of Home Downsizing Solutions (www.HomeDownsizingSolutions.com). Penny had seen ads for his company, which specializes in working with seniors overwhelmed by the downsizing process and the prospect of clearing out and fixing up their homes to sell.

“We buy houses as is,” Souchek said, “with water stains on the ceiling, hail damage on the deck, peeling wallpaper, and worn carpet.” He’ll even take homes jammed with stuff. He offers owners a price for the house, warts and all, and they can walk away.

“This is not for the seller looking for top dollar,” said Souchek, who estimates that sellers will net about 7 to 10 percent less than if they sold the home in a traditional manner. But they don’t pay any broker commissions either. Owners can either take a lump sum or get payments over time.

Because this sounded too good to be true, Penny invited Souchek over to discuss his concept while her daughter and her husband, both lawyers, were visiting. “If they saw any red flags,” she said, “I wouldn’t do it.”

The three of them asked a lot of questions.

“Ben offered me more than what the agent wanted to list the house for,” said Penny, who relished the idea of not having to deal with home improvements, inspections, or a parade of prospective buyers traipsing through her home.

She opted for payments over time — $2000 a month for 20 years — because she would get more in the long run, while avoiding the tax hit of getting a large amount all at once.

Then she set her sights on Indiana, where her son, his wife and their two daughters live, as well as her late husband’s brother, his wife and their two sons. She found a two-bedroom garden home in a nearby retirement community, “where I won’t have to worry about snow removal,” she said. The payment on the new place — $2000 a month.

She’s been there almost a year. “It’s perfect for HamBo and me.”

An inspiring example of how to move forward after a loss, Penny offered this advice to anyone in a similar situation:

·      On moving so soon: Waiting a full year to do all this might have been better, she admits, especially because the move involved leaving her friends and medical providers. “Looking back, I might have taken it a little slower. But I was eager to get close to family and get started building new memories, and I have.”

·      On how she let go: Moving into a house one-fifth the size meant letting go of a lot. “I looked at each item and asked, ‘Can I let go of this?’ Some things you think you can’t part with, but if you really have a discussion with yourself you often can.” The Native-American belief that you are only a keeper of things until the time comes to pass them on also helped her. With that in mind, she would look at her belongings, her dishes, furniture and art, and say, “My time with this is finished.” Using this philosophy, she was surprised at how much she could pass on.

·      On liquidating: Penny held an estate sale to rehome many of the antiques she’d collected that she couldn’t take with her. She cleared about $5,000 after paying commission to the estate-sale company, which more than covered her moving costs.

·      On her kids’ stuff: Penny had held onto many of her adult children’s belongings only to find they didn’t want them. They did choose to take a few pieces of furniture. She kept several items she thought her granddaughters might want and sold or donated the rest.  

·      On the inevitable sadness: The transition wasn’t all smooth sailing, she said. “Some days you just have to cry, and nothing is wrong with that. You have to go through layers of grief, and it hits again when you least expect it.”

·      On cash home buyers: Although Souchek’s company serves several states in the Midwest, homeowners can find cash home buyers everywhere, he said. “But beware. Not all are reputable.” Demand proof of funds and collateral, especially in a payment over time situation. Sellers also need to call the title company to confirm that the buyer actually closed on the contract.

CAPTION:  Senior Solution — Ben Souchek, owner of Home Downsizing Solutions, stands in front of Penny Alderson’s former Lincoln, Neb., home. “My service is not for someone who has the resources and inclination to fix up their home to sell,” he said. “But for someone who has lived in a house a long time, has a lot of deferred maintenance, and who finds the thought of getting a house ready for market too overwhelming, it can be the answer.” Photo courtesy of Ben Souchek.